no longer a baby

My little one is growing up. This June he will be 5 years old and kindergarten is quickly approaching. He has always been independent, but cuddly. Strong willed, but gentle. He has been my sidekick for almost 5 years, and I think that it’s me that is having separation anxiety as the fall approaches.

This week he had kindergarten orientation. This is a new school, so I went and listened, and took copious notes. The children were led away by the teachers to visit the kindergarten classrooms. Off went my baby, and for an hour he played, and colored, and interacted with the teachers and other students. He came back so excited! He ran back to me, gave me a huge hug and exclaimed “I went to kindergarten!”

When Garren was a baby and toddler I worked full-time. With Nathan, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since before he was born. When Garren goes off to school in the morning, and Nathan doesn’t have pre-school, we spend the day together. This is precious, quality time that is just the two of us. He has started coming over to me when I’m at my desk, smiling at me and saying “I just want to tell you that I love you.”

I push him to be independent. I want him to learn to do things for himself. But I also do not want to lose this special bond that he and I have. Kindergarten is quickly approaching. In a few months, his teachers will see him more than I will. In a few months, he will grow and mature by leaps and bounds. But just for right now, just for this moment, I want to freeze time. I just want to tell him I love him.

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Making Good Memories

Let’s start with the basics. Hubby travels every week. Some weeks are crazier than others, but for the most part, the majority of the school week I am on my own with the boys. Between shuttling them to school, and after school activities, maintaining the house (as best as I can), cooking meals which never really feel like family meals with dad away, and running errands, things can get busy.

I am in love with our boys, and often am amazed at how happy and loving they are. They are each other’s best friends. They know that I am always there for them, but now they are learning that they are there for each other. They stick up for each other (and my heart wants to burst when I see this… even when they are standing up to me).

Then there are those moments that wash away the long day. The boys climb into my bed in their pajamas, cuddle close, and listen as I read to them. They let the day go, unwind, and relax before bed. Even when my husband is home, this is my time with them. This is what we share together because I do not always want to be the one making rules and disciplining them. There is plenty of time for that. I want to make sure that I am creating happy memories with the boys. I decided to read the Harry Potter books aloud to them, and then we watch the movies as we finish reading each book. I go all out on those family movie nights, creating a themed dinner and movie snacks. The boys look forward to it, and this is something that we will all remember forever.IMG_1248