no longer a baby

My little one is growing up. This June he will be 5 years old and kindergarten is quickly approaching. He has always been independent, but cuddly. Strong willed, but gentle. He has been my sidekick for almost 5 years, and I think that it’s me that is having separation anxiety as the fall approaches.

This week he had kindergarten orientation. This is a new school, so I went and listened, and took copious notes. The children were led away by the teachers to visit the kindergarten classrooms. Off went my baby, and for an hour he played, and colored, and interacted with the teachers and other students. He came back so excited! He ran back to me, gave me a huge hug and exclaimed “I went to kindergarten!”

When Garren was a baby and toddler I worked full-time. With Nathan, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since before he was born. When Garren goes off to school in the morning, and Nathan doesn’t have pre-school, we spend the day together. This is precious, quality time that is just the two of us. He has started coming over to me when I’m at my desk, smiling at me and saying “I just want to tell you that I love you.”

I push him to be independent. I want him to learn to do things for himself. But I also do not want to lose this special bond that he and I have. Kindergarten is quickly approaching. In a few months, his teachers will see him more than I will. In a few months, he will grow and mature by leaps and bounds. But just for right now, just for this moment, I want to freeze time. I just want to tell him I love him.

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